I don’t care.
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Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa 2002
A weird little piece of cursed art, one has to wonder how this thing was created, what software was used to animate this, and whose eyes saw the finished product before it was released. A cool thing to say might be that this is The Room of animated films, and Rapsittie Street Kids does offer the kind of “thrills” that only certain types of people can provide (as well as enjoy), but this was produced by Nancy Cartwright and has Mark Hamill as…
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Slayer Santa 2000
30 minute Finnish SOV splatter gore that just happens to feature Santa Claus as its blood spraying killer. It's a highly enjoyable little feast of bad taste and its cheapness only adds to its charm and awesomeness. The film is free of annoying elements usually going on in foreign splatter shorts like this, such as self referential humor and toilet jokes. No, this just a lean and efficient winter slasher with wall to wall gore that looks better than average.…
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On Deadly Ground 1994
Steven Seagal’s only attempt at directing is a pretty bad movie, but it’s also essential viewing if you like this dude at all. This is Seagal giving the world his soul, his world view, his mantra, and it is preachy and lame. Still you have to give him credit for having the balls to make this film and star in it, put his face on the poster, because the world laughs at Seagal. Sadly and strangely, this one’s not as…
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The Exorcist: Believer 2023
I would have loved to have heard old Friedkin’s review of this movie. He probably wouldn’t have watched it. No way they’re making two more of these,
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Thrilling Bloody Sword 1981
This may be the most entertaining and insane old school kung fu movie I’ve ever seen. The fights are unbelievable, but it’s the neverending surprises, endless creative special effects and amazing sets that make this stand out in the sea of kung fu movies. This movie is underrated and deserving of more attention because it tells a story that grips the viewer and pulls them in; this could have been just another goofy curiosity with brain-melting images, but having great…
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Black Santa's Revenge 2007
This is an awesome modern blaxploitation homage. Ken Foree is badass as the title character, who goes all Charles Bronson after the children's toys are stolen. If I have any complaint at all with this, it's that I wish it were a feature length film. At only 20 minutes, it's just a taste of what could have been one of the coolest movies of its decade. It's still a ton of fun as is, and worth tracking down. Despite heads getting blasted off with a shotgun, there's something wholesome about this; Black Santa does what he does for the children.
