the dream within the American dream. the needle point in the needle.

now the spoilers

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"your death selection may be the most important decision of your life"

it's like when a company creates a need for a product and so you have to buy it. taking away the ability to not go forward. it's manipulation, but do they have a point? I feel a lot of successful men find themselves in this position. material gains estrange the body from humanity. I wonder if this old cynical bowtie man has been reborn too.

this could be a trans movie. the stitches look like drag falsies. the voice is changed. he's sexy now!! how much of you can be changed before it's not you? one year of my life I felt more like me than ever before or since. how did I know that's what I felt like? is he what he did or was he what he said in regression?

purposelessness at the bank, being some sort of upper class white dude Princeton grad athlete. no responsibility except pursuing his kind of life. moved over to ghost painted painted, nothing to prove, nothing to do. no responsibility except to pursue his own pleasure. and as always. all this talk of freedom, but there is no life without reflection. he's trapped in a fantasy, coming from being trapped in a fantasy-reality. he lives the dream of the American dream. his further isolation is the crystalization of the needle point of celebrity experience. I keep wondering, did he really love his wife? was bowtie guy right? he seemed kinda right, but maybe the first dream was enough.

I'm glad he tries to paint.

nora leaves her life too. she has money, I'm sure, but not like him. she doesn't need to pay to leave. she says she is more in touch with her escape to the new dream. "inside of you, there is still a key, unturned". where is she on her self reflective journey? at the LA reproduction of a Greek festival? does Bacchus (spelling) have experience with rebirth?

he is so fucked up at this festival, but in the bad way. why doesn't he want her in the wine? the grape bath softens what couldn't be broken. it's good to see him smile. grape bath is becoming one of my favorite movie scenes.

is carrying your memories from a past life a hindrance? why is he getting so drunk? is it because he wants to break out of the new life? is it a reborning or a shell? is Nora really a shell too? why are these people coming together? forming a new echelon to redo ranks. "she works for the company, an employee". he's surrounded by the cocoon of the company, can't break out of the amniotic sack.

he can only be emotional with his family after the year long build up of feeling that can only be released through a pinhole. "he wouldn't let anything touch him. he was absorbed in things, his job…there was a look around his eyes that he was trying to say something. I don't know what. I never knew what it was, and I don't think he ever knew." he was in a maze of want. maybe a labyrinth. one right turn brought him into fewer options. and he doesn't learn from what his wife says. he just turns a tighter corner, regresses into rebirth again.

the amount of times people get re reborn is so funny. they think their meaningful lives involve exchanging parts, like a car. pimp my life. you want to get rereborn, you have to rebirth someone yourself. if you don't want to be reborn, you won't have your perfect life. your option is to be reborn again. I don't think anyone in the company has been reborn. you can only go so far into the dream, and the dream of the dream has nothing further past it. the cliff of the cliff, the needle of the needle. he will finally be reborn. I wonder what happened to Charlie.

it's a wonderful life type movie.