Logan

Logan ★★

Wolverine is sad now, you guys.  Everything sucks and everything’s depressing and that makes this serious and important. 

Watch every character be an asshole to each other constantly. 

Watch as our token black family is introduced for the express purpose of having someone to do our pandering before we slaughter them all (side note: 100% Logan’s fault and he even points out this will happen but then still acts surprised somehow because fuck it the little “plot” we have has gotta move forward) because this movie is very sad so they all have to be graphically killed. 

Let’s not so subtly pretend it was Trump that suddenly made the world worse and not that the world getting worse was what made Trump possible.  Because that’s the simple thing we wanna preach to our Twitter Liberal choir instead of actually demonstrating how or why nations or people or systems are corrupted. 

This film may not look good, but it does feel depressing, so mission accomplished. 

Shane isn’t even that great to begin with, y’all. 

There’s one really cool scene in this movie, but even that bogs down once again to “claws through the body” ad Infinitum

Here’s three sorta-kinda villains that don’t really matter on any kind of large scale and don’t need to be fleshed out cause just like everyone else they will all be graphically killed. 

But at least it’s long and kinda slow. 

Seriously this isn’t terrible but it’s embarrassing how highly praised it is. I’d rather watch Wolverine or X-Men First Class or maybe even X3 as bad as it is. 

Logan is a shitty parent nearly all the way through, and his daughter bails him out more than the other way around. Not that it matters.  

Very disappointing.

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