Curtis

Curtis Patron

Favorite films

  • Paddington
  • Cunk on...
  • Iron Man
  • O Brother, Where Art Thou?

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  • Demons 2

    ★★★

  • Magic Island

    ★★

  • Sinbad: The Battle of the Dark Knights

  • Leprechaun 3

    ★★

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  • Stickfighter

    Stickfighter

    ★★★★

    This unseen gem is amazing. I don't know how or why this vanished from cinematic history, but it's a real shame. It falls firmly into that sweet spot between legitimately solid action film and odd passion project. It's awkward in every way, and in all the right ways.

    But let's start with star and writer Kely McClung as DEA agent John Lambert. McClung is exactly what you want in this role: a guy with quality martial arts skills and a…

  • Attack of the Beast Creatures

    Attack of the Beast Creatures

    ★★★½

    My luck with tiny monster movies has been great lately!

    Attack of the Beast Creatures is populated completely by people who only appeared in Attack of the Beast Creatures. Written, directed, edited and produced by people who only worked on Attack of the Beast Creatures. It appears to be a pure, uncut labor of love...and I love it for that.

    The story's simple. Castaways from the shipwreck Obelisk wash ashore on an island that is infested with tiny little dolls…

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  • Demons 2

    Demons 2

    ★★★

    It's Sally Day's (Coralina Cataldi Tassoni) birthday, and all her yuppiest friends have to come to celebrate it, and her, whether she likes it or not. She does not, so she passes the time watching a film about Demons, presumably made to cash in on the events, in-universe, of the first movie. A movie which is cursed, maybe, and allows the demonic contagion to move into Sally's world through Sally. Then we follow the spread of the demon hoard throughout…

  • Magic Island

    Magic Island

    ★★

    "Surely you've heard of Magic Island?"
    - Prince Morgan Hildebrandt

    Nineties boy Jack Carlisle (Zachary Ty Bryan) is given a magical book by his nanny (Ja’net DuBois) that transports him to the titular island, where Blackbeard (Andrew Divoff) and his crew (French Stewart, Abraham Benrubi, Sean O'Kane) are hunting the buccaneer Prince Morgan (Edward Kerr) and his crew (Lee Armstrong, Oscar Dillon) in search of the legendary treasure of Carbasas (director Sam Irvin). Jack even meets a young mermaid love…

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  • Cunk on...

    Cunk on...

    ★★★★★

    This might be the most relentlessly hilarious 150 minutes I've ever experienced.

    Twice.

  • Adult Swim Yule Log

    Adult Swim Yule Log

    ★★★★

    Uh...well, there's a log. And a fire.

    Plus a couple of other things.