Lightyear ★★½

Buzz Lightyear mission log, star date 3901: After a several decades of fun and inventive heartfelt movies I have suddenly found myself marooned in a souless spinoff. And according to my navi-computer, the...

Woody: [whispers] SHUT UP! Just shut up, you idiot!

Sheriff, this is no time to panic.

Woody:This is a perfect time to panic! You’re lost, and being upstaged by an adorable robot cat… you don’t even have the same voice or personality, and it's all your fault!

My-my fault? If you hadn't made all those magical sequels in the first place...

Woody: Oh, yeah? Well, if you hadn't shown up with your stupid little “this is the real thing” spaceship and taken away everything that was important to the audience…!

Don't talk to me about importance! Because of *you*, the future of this entire universe is in jeopardy!

Woody: WHAT? What are you talkin' about?

Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor PIXAR has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire movie-going experience! I alone have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness. And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!

Woody: [pause, then screams] YOU - ARE - A... STUDIO CASHGRAB! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear, you're... you're, you're a generic animated action cartoon! You are a Disney’s plaything!

You are a sad, frustrated little viewer, and you have my pity. Farewell.

Woody: Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, ya loony!

”That was utterly terrifying and I regret having joined you”

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