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Welcome to my Cinematic Time Capsule!

Favorite films

  • There Will Be Blood
  • The Seventh Seal
  • The Godfather
  • No Country for Old Men

Recent activity

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  • Lover Come Back

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  • Bodies Bodies Bodies

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  • Mack & Rita

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  • King Kong vs. Godzilla

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  • Bodies Bodies Bodies

    Bodies Bodies Bodies

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    ”He’s a libra-moon, that says a lot”

    Advertised as a high energy game of horrors with a killer on the loose...

    But in reality, after about 10 minutes of gameplay the whole thing turns into an overly-aggressive therapy session with lots of β€˜Blair Witch’ mood lighting.

    Which is kind of like advertising β€˜Nightmare on Elm Street’ but then showing us 90 minutes of teenage insomniacs all complaining to each other how they can’t get to sleep.

    On the bright side,…

  • Mack & Rita

    Mack & Rita

    ”Oh well, la-de-da, la-de-da, la-la”

    Diane Keaton at 30, playing an adorable Annie Hall and winning her first Oscar.

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    ”It’s like I’m me, but I’m not me, I mean, I’m me way up here, but these things here... ”

    Diane Keaton playing a 30-year-old trapped in Keaton’s body, nowhere near as adorable and potentially winning her first razzie.

    ”Sometimes I ask myself how I'd stand up under torture” - Annie Hall


    Cinematic Time Capsule – 2022 Ranked

    2022 U.S. Release Schedule

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  • The Fly

    The Fly

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    This movie taught me two important life lessons:

    1. Buy duplicates of a single outfit so you don’t waste brainpower trying to decide what to wear.

    2. Don’t drink and teleport.

  • Death on the Nile

    Death on the Nile

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    ”He accuses everyone of murder”
    β€œIt is a problem, I admit”

    The real problem is that there needs to be murder before Poirot can actually start solving the murder, and this boat ride takes forever to finally reach destination death.

    Along with trying to break a record for the world’s longest first act, Branagh also likes to spend a huge amount of time showing off his sense of visual flair.

    He’s like that rich kid, we all knew growing up,…