Favorite films

  • Harakiri
  • Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  • The Handmaiden
  • Amadeus

Recent activity

  • Pinocchio


  • The Little Drummer Girl


  • Stoker


  • Broker


Pinned reviews

  • My Son Hunter

    My Son Hunter


    Okay, let’s talk Hunter Biden’s laptop.

    What is Hunter Biden’s Laptop?

    Short answer: The greatest nothingburger in the history of all American politics. Seriously, it’s nothing. There really, truly is nothing to this story. There is no Hunter Biden laptop..

    Long Answer: The origin story behind this laptop begins when the owner of a computer repair shop in Wilmington Delaware contacted the FBI to inform them that a person claiming themselves to be Hunter Biden dropped off a laptop for…

  • What Is a Woman?

    What Is a Woman?


    [6/10/22 Edit: I just realized it’s impossible to see this if you’re reading on mobile, but in the text where I embedded links attached with sources, much of the time there’s a different link embedded with every individual word, so if you’re on your phone and you’re the type of person who actually checks the sources, just keep that in mind]. 

    Thank you for clicking on my needlessly thorough, painfully tedious, absolutely unnecessary, line by line rundown of this godawful…

Recent reviews

  • Stoker



    The first time the played out "Joker for girls" single line joke review actually made sense to me, as this stylish thriller with brilliant sound mixing tracks the break and rise of an eventual serial killer who receives gratification from injuring people with pencils, mixing in elements of an incestuously perverse Shadow of a Doubt, at times playing like a southern-gothic story from the mind of Joyce Carol-Oates, containing some of the most visually precise work of Chung Hoon-Chung's career, all while remaining darkly hilarious.

  • Broker



    This is going to have some real "guy who has only seen two movies draws parallels between them" energy, but watching Broker in close proximity to Marcel the Shell With Shoes On is actually a killer double feature, both being mildly funny, comfort movies meditating on community, mainly through spending time with oddballs who've bonded under strange circumstances (something they both have in common with one of the few other Koreada film I've seen, Shoplifters). It takes a village in…

Popular reviews

  • Around the World in Eighty Days

    Around the World in Eighty Days

    A brief list of movies that were not nominated for best film in 1956:
    The Searchers, Early Spring, The Killing, A Man Escaped, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Aparajito, Street of Shame, The Wrong Man, Godzilla: King of the Monsters.
    A brief list of movies that were nominated in 1956, but didn't win:
    Friendly Persuasion, Giant, The King and I, The Ten Commandments.

    Academy, what the hell were you thinking?

  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad


    I think there was a bit of a missed opportunity to further explore how the prison industrial complex is given a free pass to extract often life threatening labor out of prisoners because of the way we culturally dehumanize prisoners. You know, the way we recruit prisoners in the state of California to fight wildfires, while paying them a dollar a day to do it, but there’s no public outcry because as a whole nobody gives a shit about the…