God, don't let me become a film bro

Favorite films

  • The Grand Budapest Hotel
  • F for Fake
  • The Seventh Seal
  • About Time

Recent activity

  • Blood


  • Brainwashed: Sex-Camera-Power


  • Three Minutes - A Lengthening


  • Living


Recent reviews

  • After Yang

    After Yang


    The set designer at IKEA: “Give me every lamp you have!”

  • Fresh



    “We’re going to Cottage Grove. That’s the surprise”

    “Really? That’s the surprise? What! Cottage Grove? I’ve always wanted to go!”

    Lines of dialogue so removed from reality I had to replay the scene five times in a row

Popular reviews

  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Wizard Parents: Please, doctor, you have to help us! Our son has been bit by a werewolf! 
    Wizard Doctor: Merlin's beard! Bring him in. What's the boy's name?
    Wizard Parents: Remus Lupin.
    Wizard Doctor: ...You're shitting me.

  • Anastasia


    Writer 1: Hey, remember that very real historical event when that whole royal family was violently murdered?

    Writer 2: Yeah, that was only like 80 years ago. Like, kinda long, but not really when you think about it.

    Writer 1: Exactly. Wanna make a movie about how one of them was not ruthlessly killed off and then at the end fucks off with John Cusack instead mourning her family’s brutal massacre? 

    Writer 2: Only if we can make it clear that it was green demons that led to the October Revolution and not the very valid concerns of the proletariat masses