Michael H_oarty

Michael H_oarty

I write like shit and have bad opinions

Favorite films

  • Tenebre
  • Goodbye, Dragon Inn
  • Sudden Impact
  • Rubber's Lover

Recent activity

All
  • Old

    ★★★★½

  • Elephant

  • The Black Cat

  • Runaway

Recent reviews

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  • Old

    Old

    ★★★★½

    My jaw was on the floor for virtually the entire runtime. Deeply sinister in a way that I didn't expect out of M Night. His trademark sentimentality is well intact, but it's coated with a heavy tone of bleak existential dread and some of the most stomach churning body horror I've seen from a modern day studio picture in quite some time (cant' believe this shit got away with a PG-13 rating lmao.) Mix the cosmic isolationism of The Village…

  • Pig

    Pig

    ★★

    This happened to my buddy Nick Mullen

Popular reviews

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  • Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness

    Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness

    I’m left with the impression that this whole operation had the express purpose of being a meme generator, but as anything other than a seven-hour freakshow, I’m struggling to find any value. Goode/Chaiklin seemingly have zero empathy for any of their subjects, choosing instead to giggle behind the camera. No, it doesn’t take much logic to draw the conclusion that 90% of the people featured here are utter sociopaths, but they’re also treated with nothing higher than amusement. The Jinx,…

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Of course the end result of a tug-of-war between Abrams and Johnson is Abrams acting as though Johnson’s film doesn’t exist and landing with the tamest, most meaningless ending possible. If there’s one thing Abrams can be counted on, it’s playing it safe, and this may be his magnum opus in that regard.

    There’s plenty of discussions about the ways this stretches itself into a shit bridge to address every Last Jedi complaint to ever be lodged, and I doubt…