• Showgirls

    Showgirls

    ★★★★

    Content Warning: You see someone's bare ass at 1:35:42

  • L'Argent

    L'Argent

    ★★★★½

    That’s it. I’m never using money again

  • It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

    It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

    I hope Linus got grounded for this bullshit

  • Psycho

    Psycho

    ★★★★½

    When I was 8 I read in Nickelodeon Magazine that Amanda Bynes favorite scary movie moment is the shower scene. She described it in pretty explicit detail for Nickelodeon Magazine and it scared me so bad that I thought about it every time I was in the shower for the next few years, even though I didn't end up actually seeing the movie until I was in my mid 20s.

  • The Silence of the Lambs

    The Silence of the Lambs

    ★★★★½

    I hope Dr. Lecter has a nice dinner with his old friend

  • Nosferatu the Vampyre

    Nosferatu the Vampyre

    ★★★★

    Why is he so obsessed with blood. Get a grip

  • Bell, Book and Candle

    Bell, Book and Candle

    ★★★

    Have to imagine this is the only movie where you see Jimmy Stewart’s bare feet

  • TÁR

    TÁR

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    When Tár laid out that conductor like she was Ed Reed I knew this was the movie for me

  • Stagecoach

    Stagecoach

    ★★★★½

    You think a stagecoach is gonna be this big thing and then in reality it can comfortably fit maybe a small child. Things used to really suck back then

  • Weekend

    Weekend

    ★★★★

    When they do this on The Rewatchables Bill Simmons is definitely gonna give Jean-Pierre Léaud the Dion Waiters Award

  • La Chinoise

    La Chinoise

    ★★★★

    In a Maoist cell my job would be making the other members smile

  • Step Brothers

    Step Brothers

    Me: Dudes. Freaking. Rock. 
    You: That is a VERY interesting thing to say