Starcrash ★½

Well mercifully, Christmas has come and gone. With only three days left in 2014, one issue takes precedence above all others - Check that Netflix cue and watch the movies that are going to become unavailable on New Year's Day.

George Lucas brought a lot of joy into the world by introducing us to Star Wars in 1977. Of course as any scientific novice can tell you, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Case in point: Starcrash.

In this, the most blatant of first-generation knockoffs, Caroline Munro, Christopher Plummer and David ("The Hoff") Hasselhoff team up to stop an evil Baron and his planet-crushing "Doom Machine". Add in a mystic/navigator and a robot with a southern United States accent and you've got the makings for this occasionally charming but overall lame space-opera. On the positive side, Hoff is likable, it's got a Bond-girl in a space bikini for half the movie, and the evil space station transforms into a gigantic fist. In the flip side, the acting is unilaterally terrible. Also, all of the space battle scenes suffer from a distinct lack of spacial geography, that is, you could never tell where one ship was in relation to another.

Overall, Star Crash seems like it'd be fine for kids, however any serious sci-fi fans can (and should) steer clear.

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