Killer Queer Daisy 🏳️⚧️’s review published on Letterboxd:
The Bagel consumes all.
Not in the way where it consumes everyone, but more like…
Once someone gets too close to the Bagel, it consumes everything about them.
Their head, arms, torso, legs, heart, mind, body… everything.
The Bagel never comes for all. But it takes all of who is with it.
The Bagel consumes and consumes.
It lead me to multiple chaotic and nonsensical universes that are everything, and are everywhere, and are all happening at once, in my head. They conflict with each other, contradicting constantly, my head being a mess. It’s loud. So, so, loud.
The Bagel then lead me to the conclusion that all I wanted is quiet. And… The Bagel itself became that quiet. That quiet I desired. That quiet cure for my very loud head. I wanted to be consumed in quiet.
So… I let it start consuming. I let it feed. It pulled me in and kept pulling. The Bagel consumed everything about me, my head getting quieter.
I’d do anything to get that quiet cure for my head. It was too loud and overwhelming, too much was happening at once. It got quieter but it came and went in waves as the Bagels consumption fluctuated.
God I wished it’d all be quiet. I want it to be Quiet.
I want eternal Quiet.
That’s when the Bagel led me to another conclusion while consuming.
The Bagel helped me realize… if nothing mattered, then everything would be Quiet. So then… nothing mattered.
I figured a truth that nothing mattered as we’re all meaningless stupid specs in the universe so nothing we did mattered at all.
The Bagel kept consuming as things started to become Quiet.
However… as more and more people around me kept trying to pull me from the Bagel.
The right ones found me.
I realized the nihilistic, hopeless asshole I became. That didn’t mean I wasn’t worth saving. It meant… that I needed a Come to God moment.
And I had that moment. That’s when I realized almost everything matters and interconnects, that’s when the loudness came back, but, it started making sense.
The Bagel started dissipating. There was no more Quiet. And that was okay.
It was all okay.
Everything, everywhere, it was all happening all at once. In my head. And that was okay. I didn’t need it to be quiet. I just needed small amounts to make sense.
And… it started making sense. Not all of it. But that’s okay.
I don’t know why I let the Bagel consume me in the first place. I believe it happened when I started believing that I was the worst person once I let certain people’s beliefs and talks and everything get to me.
Expectations destroyed me.
And I was so young.
How could the Bagel have not consumed me?
I was an easy target for the Bagel. For the Quiet. For the everything.
But now… every now and then… everything happens at once, and that’s fine. It’s all okay.
When I used to say “nothing matters”… I truly meant what I said. Now when I say “nothing matters”… what I mean is that nothing expected of you matters. We can do whatever we want.
Nothing matters. And that’s okay.
If you wanted a dissertation of this film, I don’t think I was the right person. All I can really offer is a funny story that happened along with this movie.
I was watching this movie in theaters. And in the last 40-50 minutes, I kept… quietly crying. It was obvious. When This Is A Life started playing and the credits rolled, a man sitting a couple seats away, checked on me.
It left me hopeful.
Nothing matters, so I’m going to cry. I mean that in the best way that I could mean according to previous parts of this review.
I never truly mean that nothing matters. That’s plain out wrong.
But nothing matters, we can do whatever. we. want.
This is the most hopeful and empathetic movie ever.
Cya later my fellow homosexuals.