Batman, Birdman and Vulture walk into a bar. They each order themselves a drink and Batman notices Catwoman sitting by herself at the far end of the bar table. He whispers something to Birdman, who casually walks over to Catwoman and suavely sings Batman's praises, laying in a good word about his dark and mysterious nature, how he's no joker when it comes to love, and that he never put nipples on his suit because he's a true gentleman. Meanwhile,…
🦇 Se7en Vibes, N9ne Lives 🦇
❓ What's in the box, Batman?❓
Watching this back to back (or bat to bat if you wanna be a smart-ass about it) with Tim Burton's classic from -89, you'd have to be blind as a b-- no, wait, that's not appropriate. Allow me to rephrase: You'd have to be some sort of simpleton not to notice the stark contrast between the two. One cartoonish, highly stylized and with a considerably campy nemesis (love…
Greatest treat: Reasonably fun in the beginning as it provides some decent action, but when it comes to the rest of the film...
Weakest element: ...it quickly wears you down and zones you out with its paper-thin plot, uninteresting dialogue and low production value. The green screen/visual effect shots are laughably bad, looking like something out of an Asylum movie.
In one word: Generic
God creates dinosaurs
God destroys dinosaurs
God creates Steven Spielberg
Steven Spielberg creates dinosaurs
Dinosaurs inspire man
Man destroys God
The Indie-to-Hollywood Conversion Factory creates Colin Trevorrow
Colin Trevorrow reverse-engineers a beloved childhood favorite and puts most of the pieces back in a satisfying, nostalgic and highly entertaining fashion, if also neglecting the importance of character and the great, oh-so-great value of Goldblumian acting capabilities.
Second-rate writers inherit the earth