Kong: Skull Island

Kong: Skull Island ★★

I was going to write a serious review, one which detailed the few redeeming qualities of this film, like the strong sense of visual style, the fleeting moments of oddness...

And then I was going to counterbalance the positive with a handful of negative elements that really served a Kong-sized beatdown to the film, like the terrible editing, the slashed-up script that hinted at some sort of studio meddling, the lack of interest in any of the characters, perhaps even the lack of interest from most of the actors, etc...

BUT THEN, they show the scene with Kong strutting in the lake, with a full pan up his body and O M G KONG. IS. THICC!

Can you imagine being one of the CGI animators on this film having to fill in Kong's luscious ass? Do you think they went home fearing that maybe they were furries now? Can you imagine your boss telling you to make Kong's rear end more supple?

I literally wish I could have sat in on those animating sessions because WOW I was not ready for that!!

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