47 Meters Down: Uncaged

47 Meters Down: Uncaged ★½

Part of this year's Halloween season with sharks

I don't remember seeing 47 Meters Down. I have a sneaking suspicion that I've not seen it at all but that doesn't really matter. The cast is completely different. 47 Meters Down: Uncaged (aka 48 Meters Down) sees two sisters and their collateral friends going diving in an ancient Mayan city, which just happens to have been flooded by rising sea levels etc. It reminded me a little bit of the Descent but instead of increasing terror as the flick played out it just got progressively dumber. The last five minutes is some of the stupidest shit ever committed to film.

None of the girls are particularly likeable. The sisters are played by Sophie Nelisse, who's supposed to be a dork or something but she's like 5% clumsier than a supermodel. Corinne Foxx is her sister, and Jamie Foxx's daughter. Neither really has a lot to do beyond screaming. Brianne Tju and Sistine Stallone (yes, that Stallone's daughter) are along for the ride. Stallone is particularly annoying although I assume that's intention. Where the movie is almost saved is casting John Corbett as the loving deep sea explorer father. He's so effortlessly good, he almost had me routing for the film to succeed.

However, the fish scream (yes, scream) that sets the whole plot into motion is offensively stupid. None of the underwater stuff makes the slightest of sense. The various radio chatter throughout is nonsensical to the point where I thought I was being dumb for not getting it. And, once again, the last five minutes are staggeringly stupid. Johannes Roberts, who is my age and should know better, is a poor director. I could forgive him if this was fun but it's really not.