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  • Transformers: The Last Knight

    Transformers: The Last Knight

    ★★★★★

    In his poignant ode to simplicity, Michael Bay's "Transformers: The Last Knight" captures the sensation of how technology can lead to alienation in a way that hasn't been achieved since Radiohead's "OK Computer."

    Working from a meticulously crafted and deeply personal script by Art Marcum, Matt Holloway and Ken Nolan (story by Akiva Goldsman, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway and Ken Nolan), Bay shows us the many ways we and our planet have been changed by runaway science - transformed, if…

  • Joker

    Joker

    ★★★

    1. 'joker' is definitely a comic book movie and it's ludicrous that anyone involved in making it is trying to pretend otherwise

    2. it is nowhere near as interesting thematically as it wants to be or thinks it is

    3. whatever politics the film displays - which basically are no deeper than 'fuck the rich' and 'feeling ignored sucks' - are at least as much antifa as 'revenge of the loner incel white men'

    4. almost everything you've read about…

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  • 2 Fast 2 Furious

    2 Fast 2 Furious

    ★★★★

    NOTE: ALL FF STAR RATINGS ARE FOR INTERNAL SERIES USE ONLY

    ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming tej and roman to the family

  • The Fast and the Furious

    The Fast and the Furious

    ★★★★★

    NOTE: ALL FF STAR RATINGS ARE FOR INTERNAL SERIES USE ONLY

    this year's rewatch begins, on glorious 4k blu. i will of course be doing this in the correct chronological order, so it's 1, 2, 4, 5, 6 (no mid-credits scene), 3, 6 mid-credits scene, 7, 8, and absolutely no hobbs & shaw because it's terrible and also #fuckshaw

    also i found out tonight that a good friend of mine has never seen this so i'm now sitting shiva for him

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  • Wonder Woman 1984

    Wonder Woman 1984

    ★½

    i am legit shocked at how bad this was so all i have is a few thought fragments

    at the 1:57 mark my cat stepped on my apple tv remote and shut off hbo max and at first i was mad but after seeing the last 35 minutes of the movie i realized she was just trying to help

    i think the title refers to the last time we would've thought the movie's special effects looked good

    it doesn't feel…

  • Ready or Not

    Ready or Not

    ★★★★

    3.5 stars seems to be the 'go to' for this, but i'm gonna go ahead and give it 4 because it's just that much fun. think 'you're next' sautéed with a dash of 'clue,' topped with an early sam raimi-esque humorous gore red sauce.

    what i'm saying is it rules very very hard