• Men

    Men

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    This was actually pretty great. The handling of the themes in the script is a little clunky at times, but Alex Garland continues to be such an effective director. He does such a fantastic job at building tension and dread, and old-school British folk horror is such a perfect fit for his style.

    Jessie Buckley and Rory Kinnear give great performances, and I always love it so much when one actor plays multiple roles, especially when it's used to be…

  • Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

    β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    This worked about a thousand times better than I thought it would. Just like with Sam Rami's Doctor Strange, I'm surprised at what Disney let them get away with.

    It's a ton of fun and very self-aware, not just in the sense that it's a meta movie, but of the tropes surrounding reboots, buddy cop movies, and kids' live-action/cartoon hybrids.

    Most surprisingly though, it didn't all feel like one big commerical, since the cameos weren't just Disney properties. Universal, Warner Brothers, and Paramount were all represented nearly as much as Disney was, so this pretty much completely avoided the Space Jam 2 problem.

  • Girls Nite Out

    Girls Nite Out

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    Always down for campus slashers and the appearance of the bestΒ Friday the 13th girl, Lauren Marie Taylor.

    As far as forgotten 80's campus slashers go, it falls somewhere in the middle. It's not as buckwild as something like the truly insaneΒ Pledge Night, but nowhere near as bland and boring as something like Rush Week. The characters are fun and likeable enough to sustain ninety minutes of relationship drama, the killer gives a great unhinged performance (even if they kinda come…

  • Drag Me to Hell

    Drag Me to Hell

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    Unabashedly cruel, gross, and mean-spirited, while still being such a delight to watch. This is Rami dragging his distinct style into the 21st century and it's so much fun to watch.

  • Firestarter

    Firestarter

    β˜…Β½

    Oof. I was looking forward to this because of the cast (especially Gloria Ruben from Mr. Robot and Ryan Kiera Armstrong, who absolutely stole the show in the most recent season of American Horror Story), but yikes, even talented actors can't save a script this bad. Just so many on-the-nose cliches (like c'mon, the guy going home to his pregnant wife, really?) Also, whoever wrote that "liar liar pants on fire" line deserves to be set on fire.

    The run…

  • Saturday the 14th

    Saturday the 14th

    β˜…β˜…Β½

    Happy holidays?

    It's pretty meh for the most part, and it overstays its welcome even at only 75 minutes, but something about it is so charming, and the Twilight Zone gag is hilarious.

  • Friday the 13th

    Friday the 13th

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    Finished 4-6 earlier than expected so I had time to squeeze in one more.

    Just like people unfairly hate on Part V because Jason isn't technically the killer, people unfairly hate on this movie because it's technically a remake. But like come on, this series has never given a shit about continuity, and this movie rules. It's Part XII, just accept it.

    Despite not actually watching any of them when they released, I've always had a ton of nostalgia for…

  • Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

    Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    Rounding out the Tommy Jarvis trilogy is the movie that's widely considered the best Friday the 13th movie, and I can't say I disagree (even though my personal #1 is still A New Beginning).Β 

    The script here is leagues better than every other entry in franchise, and it's easy to see how it inspired Kevin Williamson to write Scream.Β Tommy finally feels like a real character again and it's just so much fun.

    Also, this gets bonus points for somehow being the only movie out of twelve to actually take place at an active summer camp.

  • Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

    Friday the 13th: A New Beginning

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    Continuing my rewatch of the Tommy Jarvis trilogy with my personal favorite Friday the 13th movie, A New Beginning.

    I just love how unabashadly wild this one is. Every actor is giving 110%, yet every performance somehow feels like it's from a completely different, yet equally unhinged movie. It feels aware of how stupid it all is without ever crossing the line into feeling like it's trying to be bad on purpose. It just relishes in how weird and sleazy…

  • Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

    Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

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    Rewatching the Tommy Jarvis trilogy to celebrate the holiday.

    Part IV isn't my personal favorite Friday the 13th (that would be Part V) and I don't think it's the best madeΒ Friday the 13th (that would be Part VI), but I do think it's the most Friday the 13th.

    This is the perfect embodiment of what the franchise is. All the traditional elements are here, played straight, and excuted as well as they could be. If you're gonna watch one, watch this one.

  • Popcorn

    Popcorn

    β˜…β˜…β˜…β˜…Β½

    I'm so happy they finally put this on Shudder. I've been wanting to watch it for a while but it's been hard to find. It's not a perfect movie, but it's one that feels like it was custom-made for my interests. Much like Joe Dante's Matinee, Popcorn is a tribute to the experience of going to see a B-movie in a crowded movie theatre, but instead of that tribute being wrapped in a coming-of-age story, it's wrapped in an 80's…

  • Malibu Horror Story

    Malibu Horror Story

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    Panic Fest 2022 Film #6

    Remember how I was saying how much I loved The Outwaters because it did something so ballsy and shocking with the tired found-footage formula? Well... This is a movie that just fully follows that formula.

    The only thing shocking about Malibu Horror Story is that it features the stereotypical Β "cursed Native American burial ground" trope without a shred of irony as the main source of horror in the year 2022.