~ 18 | he/him ~ 

clutching my pearls per usual✨

~ Current top four are the best first watches of 2022 ~ 


Favorite films

  • Amadeus
  • Ran
  • GoodFellas
  • Call Me by Your Name

Recent activity

  • The Lighthouse


  • Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore


  • Do Revenge


  • Top Gun: Maverick


Recent reviews

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse


    Ghastly obscured to sight and sense and ubiquitous in baleful presence, a frail flicker of fleeting light emerges to illume the frayed desolation abound as through smoke and shadow a towering goliath looms. Of dread and awe inescapable and enigmas indecipherable, in eerie contours of swirling angst is caged the shrouded vortex of fraught psyches that is the unsettling lighthouse, foreboding the mania of its custodians as its deafening siren sounds. Hauntingly withdrawn from all, the depraved confines of so…

  • Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

    Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore


    The Wizarding World 
    2001 ~ 2022

    ~ once beloved, today futile. ~

    It is with great sadness and utmost regret that we announce the untimely (and overdue) demise of the hitherto fickle Wizarding World.

    A wilful creation of the seemingly wondrous imagination of one JK Rowling, the Wizarding World lived a (mostly) happy life in the hearts and minds of its fervent proponents. Staring out as a world of awe and innocence exemplifying a tale rife with intrinsic tenets of…

Popular reviews

  • The Dropout

    The Dropout


    How to become a billionaire 101:

    • A copious amount of self induced cringe
    • Green Juice….always 
    • All black…..always 
    • Erratic bursts of robotic dancing 
    • ZERO blinking 
    • An exasperatingly fake voice 
    • Zuckerburg as an “inspiration”
    • Paranoia 
    • Wanting to “change the world”….always 

    Fiercely engaging show worthy of a few Emmys.
    Take notes Netflix. 


  • The Gray Man

    The Gray Man


    Lloyd Hansen?
    Court Gentry?
    Denny Carmichael?

    Who made this? Who wrote this?!?
    Oh the guys who think going to theatres is an “elitist notion”. Right, that explains it. Writing a full length review isn’t worth the patience so I’ll half ass this since that’s how they made it anyways. 

    Chris Evans is fun tho. He’s like that cool npc who makes shit blow up so the level can continue and whoever told the guy from Bridgerton he could “act” was…