• The Greatest Showman

    The Greatest Showman

    ★★★

    a few months ago i sat down and tried watching euphoria and hated it so much i had to stop after an episode and a half but every time i watch this my goldfish brain resets and i go goddam berserk! trying to consume as much zendaya content as possible. I have seen the pilot episode mmm 9 times. and then the cycle continues

  • The Grinch

    The Grinch

    ★★★½

    The worm in my brain really likes this one

  • The Grinch

    The Grinch

    ★★★½

    literally the only reason I am alive right now is because I refuse to miss tyler the creator’s lifetime achievement oscar speech. I know they don’t do that anymore but they’re gonna bring it back for him. 2035 im calling it

  • A Woman Under the Influence

    A Woman Under the Influence

    ★★★★

    this is the scariest movie i've ever seen

  • Twilight

    Twilight

    ★★★★½

    damn its gonna be really sad when i have to kill charlie in civil war II next week

  • Rebecca

    Rebecca

    ★★

    god. here’s a list of people who could give a more interesting performance than armie hammer in this movie:

    1. andrew scott
    2. robert pattinson
    3. elisabeth moss IN shirley (2019)
    4. kevin abstract
    5. bill hader
    6. the actress who played meghan markle in that lifetime movie
    7. anyone from the cast of jagged little pill
    8. the girl who was interviewed by infowars and said you people have worms in your brains
    9. noel miller
    10. and diesel jeans. (the guy from that video)

  • Downton Abbey

    Downton Abbey

    ★★★★

    the klepto seamstress was the real hero here. imagine having to be around this many wealthy british people all day every day and not taking a few souvenirs like. mama was just collecting tips

  • Scream

    Scream

    ★★★★½

    finally watched this and yet was given no clarity as to why they named the bully in ned’s declassified after billy loomis like WHAT was that boy planning

  • Romeo + Juliet

    Romeo + Juliet

    ★★★★

    every 3-4 months i remember how ruthlessly sexy this movie is and i make it my entire personality. yes i did just search pinterest for romeo + juliet tattoos yes i actually do want to talk about it

  • Sinister Seduction

    Sinister Seduction

    ★★★½

    knowing that i still get sad when i google an actor i like and they’re in a relationship has absolutely ruined my night like YIKES who’s gonna tell her

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network

    ★★★★★

    hi friends. today, october the 1st, 2020, is the ten year anniversary of the social network’s theatrical release. can you believe it! in its honor, i would like to share what each of the actors are up to now and how i would rate their career choices in the years since, because as we all know, this was the first and last piece of great american cinema. to spice it up, i’m doing this fully from memory. no imdb for…

  • Most Likely to Murder

    Most Likely to Murder

    ★★★

    remember when carrie underwood would release songs about girls letting their abusers die in a fire or a tornado or whatever because I wanna bring that genre back