John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City

John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City ★★★★★

so the first time i watched this i made a list of my favourite moments and i missed a few so HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!! 

"my dad is so weird. i'd love to meet him someday"

"so he's talk-talk-talk and woahh it's my turn next,"

john's dad: just explain to me this. how are you better than a nazi?
john's mom: [chris evans voice] does anybody want any salad? 🥙

"i was like twelve years old, and my dad walked up to me and he said uhhh 'hello.'"


"you don't always get to see the things that you paid to see. ever been to the goddamn zoo?"

"try being SEVEN YEARS OLD and you're sitting FIVE FEET away from him he's still got BLOOD on his shoes, and he's looking at you IN. THE. EYE to tell you for the FIRST time in your vERY young life, that SOME adults find you incREDIBLY attractive :OOOO and they may just have to KILL YA over it 🤷‍♂️" 

"shuddup yer all gonna die STREET SMARTS!!"

"let's say a kidnapper chrows yu in the beck uva trunk this was at NINE in the MORNING."

"somethin HINKY is goin on."

"do my friends hate me, or do i just need to go to sleep?"

english degrees? did you mean: a four-year degree in a language that i al. ready. SPOKE.

why does he pronounce it "goodWILL" why does he emphasize the "will" john why do you emphasize the "will" explain yourself

"it was too big. my mom said it could be a sleep shirt."

" the time,"

"hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? because it sounds like he sucks and i will totally kill that guy for you. okay, see you at improv practise."


Tonight's No Good, How About Wednesday? Oh, You're in Dallas on Wednesday? Oh, Okay, Well Let's Just Not See Each Other for Eight Months and it Doesn't Matter At All by fall out boy


"motherfucker, is this how you WRITE SONGS?"


"[donald trump voice] i'm gonna run towards the baby incubators and smash em with my hooves. i've got nice hooves and a tail i'm a horse."

"i dOn't remember tHaT in hamilton!"


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