• Dumbo


    Dearest LB,

    I thought I could make it to Strange 2. But I have to make a wise, selfless decision for my family. I'm standing on the treshold of success. If I look down, I'll get dizzy.

    I'm going to cast my doubts aside and fly. Not just fly,, soar. I've got a magic feather and I want to believe in miracles. We really need one in May. A final set of surgeries like a pyramid of pachyderms.

    The very…

  • The Wizard of Oz

    The Wizard of Oz

    My first feature-length film and the first film to scare me. The Witch got under my 4 year old skin. I was mildly obsessed with the film in my young years. I could escape into it over and over.

    I used to assume every human on earth had seen it. But if you ask enough water brained yokels if they have, you'll get a shocking amount of "Have not"s. Everyone in this film is dead now. It retains it's power still. I'm thankful this exist. Without it who knows. This and Dumbo. Real movie magick.

  • Angel


    We're finally getting married today. After a bump from March 20 we have universal alignment. We know what direction to go and what choices take us to the road to awe. All will now fall into place. After proposing in Detroit, October 1st, 2019, at a Phil Collins concert, we drove home in terrifying torrential downpour. Life seemed to just get harder and harder ever since that night. As if some evil cosmic force was attempting to stop our union.…

  • Jojo Rabbit

    Jojo Rabbit

    When faced with the dark legacy of hate humankind has manifested, the only medicine is to laugh in the face of it. Waititi goose stepped it up and used all his powers to show us the absurdity of it all. Only he could play Hitler and have us in hysterics.

    A challenging tragicomedy that rivals and feels like the best of modern filmmaking. Putting Waititi in the same league as Tarantino and Anderson in quick time. A true talent with…

  • Drag Me to Hell

    Drag Me to Hell

    "I welcome the dead into my soul."

    Manic Raimi humor and gross out geriatric gypsy horror that makes you miss the director doing his chicken dance. Such a signature that it's hard to imagine there isn't more spookshows from the splatsticky, vomitronic, actor- torturer of our time. He's treating Alison like her name is Bruce, here, and you gotta love what came out of it. I honestly don't know why this had to be PG-13 but with time passing it's…

  • John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum

    John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum

    "Well, sometimes you gotta cut a motherfucker."

    The king is dead. Long live the king. Franchismo prestige worldwide and the act of killing. Blood in, blood out. Time: the flat circle. He fought so hard, only to end up back where he started.

    Sharif don't like it, rockin' the casbah. The most complex Wick-er man thus far. With bizarre and opulent scenarios unfolding as the origins of it all are layed at our feet, and choices are presented from a…

  • John Wick: Chapter 2

    John Wick: Chapter 2

    Damn. The cement wasn't even dry yet before the doorbell rang. So, the budget is way up and it appears Wick got to use shampoo and conditioner.

    "No blood on Continental grounds and every marker must be honored."

    In a sense this is what Rambo: First Blood II was to First Blood. The bad guys are more dispicable and everything is more dangerous in this foreign land. Darker, more vile creatures.

    "Do you fear damnation, John?"

    Employed hear is the…

  • John Wick

    John Wick

    "...a final gift from my wife. In that moment, I received some semblance of hope... an opportunity to grieve unalone. And your son... took that from me... stole that from me. Killed that from me!!"

    Confession: I thought I was too cool for these movies. I'm not. The indigestion that Morbius brought about (still burping it up), made me almost tap out on going down this road altogether. But life found a way.

    New millenium Action genre fare typically hits…

  • Morbius


    Sony is getting a bit long in the tooth. Bloodless and Teflon in it's plot. World War Z level zombie vampire faces. Flying Neo Morbius is Dracula Untold all over again.

    Corporate deals and weirdness is starting to make the machine a little too visible. Agreements and compromise. That's all we need to really elevate this stuff, right? I'm at a loss.

    "We have to push the boundaries, take the risk."

    Origin stories can be a necessary evil and even…

  • Commando


    There's a lot to love here. It's the beginnings of film language for a small boy in Michigan. The brain weaves memories. All the fibers and sheets are sewn into the Austrian Oak.

    I had a 16" Commando super action figure when I was a kid and it outlasted so many rival toys as years went by. It was my Toy Story "Woody".

    David Patrick Kelly is such a little fuckhead in this. A lot of people think Warriors or…

  • Hellboy


    The Wild Hunt. My hopes were so high when this came out. I had great expectations. This was better than the last time I watched it. Feeling like Full Moon Pictures produced a heavy metal Harry Potter knock off directed by a survival horror gamer.

    In the age of the superhero movie this falls victim of comparison to CGI that we take for granted. This looks like the early 2000's and if you look at what LB puts up as…

  • Scanners II: The New Order

    Scanners II: The New Order

    Toothy Drak playing Operation Wolf, Scanner style, is heaven on earth. I encourage anyone to pause it anytime he's concentrating. It's a good time, every time.

    Thank you, Helen. This was a perfect 90's, hangover. We all have blind spots and weird feelings on shit like this, but I encourage everyone to open their hearts and turn off their minds, as she did mine, to this banana balls, madness.

    It's a little obnoxious how we're literally all critics, now, right?.…