The Godfather

The Godfather

0/100

The offensive, romanticized, picture of the Corleone crime family. An Italian family in which their corrupt father manipulates and desensitizes his children to a life of brutal crime. By using the thin veil of family weddings and a reputation as The Godfather, the Corleone family have become the face of duality itself - shooting their rivals while chowing down on cannoli’s.

Today was my first viewing of The Godfather. I always preferred Dunkacinno to Michael Corleone. I enjoyed my Al Pacino drinking cappuccino and rapping. I have always been wary of critically acclaimed films, and was waiting to watch The Godfather with a less critical eye. I always despise reading negative reviews of films I consider to some of the greatest of all time, and today I assume that many will feel that same resentment for me.

What elements of The Godfather make it be so critically acclaimed? From what I have seen, nothing. Marlon Brando is the pinnacle of overacting, when he strokes his cat he oozes unrealism from his veins, from his calm voice, deceptive stature, and handsome physique, he is clearly too young for his role and has no knowledge of how an actual gangster acts. The opening zooming shot of Amerigo Bonasera’s face just goes to show Francis Ford Coppola’s pretentious sense of self-importance. The wedding is long and meandering, shot with no sense of cinematography or color yet still acting like it is some monumental film achievement. The film seems to have important buildups towards moments of violence, yet, when the violence did strike I couldn’t help but feel underwhelmed. Coppola never revels in the horror of the violence and instead brushes past them as if they were a morning routine, only using them when it’s necessary to carry on with his glorified propaganda. Despite this, Coppola finds it necessary to include the severed head of an actual horse in his film, disgusting. Unlike reality, Coppola’s gangsters never swear, only saving it for the obvious occasions. Subtle.

Al Pacino, Robert DuVall, John Cazelle and James Cann are terrible. Pacino was the worst offender here, he begins the film with a pleasant, innocent stride and halfway through immediately becomes a dark, solemn fallen hero. But where is the subtly? Nowhere, Pacino has no transition, he is an actor of no skill. James Cann does not fit his role, the scene where he beats Gianni Russo just goes to show that Cann was not fit for this role, nobody that tries that hard to become a character is fit for any role. Not only that, but the character he was given to work with was one of the most one-dimensional, one-note character’s I have seen in any piece of media, he only has one defining characteristic: a bad temper. Pacino’s character is even worse, suddenly he goes from innocent war-hero to ruthless mafia Don after killing two men, despite having been in the army before and killing many more there, the film acts as if this is all the result of Micheal’s shortcomings, despite it clearly being a result of the corrupt system. Even more subtle.

If you thought that the supporting cast might bring something to the table, you’d be wrong. Richard Castellano’s Clemenza does nothing else other than serve as an insulting comic relief with insufferable lines such as “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.” Al Lettieri’s Sollozo does nothing expect be a villain that is as quickly thrown away as he is introduced. Abe Vigoda’s Tessio is played with such boredom and lack of effort that I visibly yawned every time he spoke a line. Then, on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, Alex Rocco’s Moe Green is played with such over-enthusiasm that it makes me wish we could go back to Tessio. Diane Keaton’s Kay is terrible and somehow sticks around despite it being very clear by the end of the film that Micheal is not someone she should be with. Talia Shire’s Connie is another example of Coppola’s disgusting sense of self-entitlement. Richard Conte’s Barzini is like Sollozo but without any of the personality that made him remotely interesting. John Cazelle is completely unrealistic as Fredo, not playing him with any subtly, just like the rest of his roles in The Deer Hunter and Dog Day Afternoon. Lenny Montana’s Luca Brazil has no self-awareness and only exists to move along the plot. Simonetta Stefanelli's innocent and clueless Apollonia is one of the earliest examples of female character’s that do not serve the plot other than being a driving force for the main characters motivation.

Every aspect of the film, it’s overstayed soundtrack, over or underacted performances, uninspired camerawork, choppy editing, unrealistic sets, outdated effects, romanticized design, Marlon Brando’s unrealistic make-up, and the overly-designed costumes, which no “self-respected” gangster would ever catch themselves wearing, make this objectively the worst film I have ever seen, not my least favorite, but objectively the least perfect film that has ever been made. I will challenge my self to watch it’s two sequels and to keep an open mind, although I doubt they will be any good, they will surely be better than this poor excuse for a film which I regret watching in the first place, do yourself a favor, instead of watching The Godfather, watch something actually good and save yourself 175 minutes of you’re life which you will never get back.

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